Top 10 Ways the Hospital is not like Arizona

So as many of you know, I landed in the hospital this week when I was supposed to be on a college visit trip to Arizona with Sarah. I had a fever Monday night and when you are in chemo, they take fevers very seriously and sent me to the ER to take blood and see if I had an infection. I was tested up one side and down the other, and thankfully no apparent infection, no strep, no influenza, no pneumonia, etc. My temp dropped quickly but my counts were really low so they kept me and put me on antibiotics. My counts got better all across the board except I was anemic so then they did a blood transfusion. I guess I have been loitering around the "critical threshold" for anemia for quite some time and finally crossed over into the needs a transfusion range. Not sure why we weren't treating the anemia some other way all along, but who knows. Explains why I've been so tired these past several weeks (among other things!). The culprit for my fever is likely the double dose of Taxol they gave me last Thursday to carry me through my trip. Sounded like a good idea at the time but dropped my counts to the cellar and gave me a "neutropenic fever." Fancy for "chemo kicked your ass and now you have a  fever." They finally let me out on Thursday.

So as I was sitting in the hospital, I started thinking how different my week was compared to what should have been, sitting by a pool, sipping something fruity, visiting a college campus, and having fun with my daughter and I came up with this list....

Top 10 Ways the Hospital is NOT like a trip to Arizona

• 10. The hospital gown just doesn't cut it as a cute bathing suit cover up.
• 9. While room service is nice, ordering super bland food is not as fun as eating authentic and delicious Mexican food.
• 8. Being awoken at night by strangers wanting to take my vitals rather than being awoken at night by drunken spring breakers (ok so maybe this one is a toss up).
• 7. No shopping.
• 6. No opportunities to make endless Scum Devil jokes.
• 5. No alcohol....they have burritos and quesadillas on the menu at the hospital, you think adding a margarita wouldn't be so hard.
• 4. Strolling around the 5th floor is not the same as strolling through Old Scottsdale or taking a campus tour.
• 3. The view from the window DID NOT include any palm trees.
• 2. Although the blood transfusion pinked up my skin (a nice improvement from the yellow shade I've been sporting) I would have much preferred to get a tan the old-fashioned way by baking in the sun.
• 1. No pool!

So we'll see what the next few weeks bring and if we can squeeze a quick trip to Arizona in before Sarah has to make her decision and commit to a school. I think I've earned some pool time.